Pleasant bewilderment

Astonishment. Amazement. Awe.

Friends, as I pen this down after a whirlwind of insane happenings the past 11 days, I’m still learning to grow into a fuller revelation of what it means to be pleasantly bewildered.

I wouldn’t say that we need very many spectacular things to know that the season has shifted, and though chaos still ensues, what I’m learning is that the Lord is able to manifest goodness, blessing and favour in the midst of it all.

“Pleasant bewilderment.”

On googling the meaning of the term, “bewilderment,” I was met with the following statement,

“a state of being perplexed or confused.”

I’m sure I am not alone when I say that the past few seasons have come with more than a fair share of trials and traumas. There has been heartache and suffering, pain and brokenness. Unfair situations have kept coming up from time to time, leaving us with one question,

“Is it ever going to get better?”

I have wrestled with this question. I know I have, and perhaps friend, you’ve been there too.

But it is how the Lord meets us in the midst of despair that lifts us up and redefines our journey.

He has been teaching me much, and as I write, I hope that the nuggets I’ve gleaned from His heart serve to help you make sense of your own story and walk with the Lord.

So here goes.

As important as it is to acknowledge our feelings friends, I am learning that we don’t go by them. We are called, “believers” for a reason. Not “feelers.”

I don’t mean to be insensitive, quite the opposite really.

For the truth is that though we may feel the pain and heartache that are an inevitable everyday reality in some shape, way or form; we are not defined by it. We are only defined by Love, for that is our Identity.

It is God-given, and irrevocable.

But we do have a part to play in protecting that which He has given us. So how does that work?

Ahem.

Let’s see.

My feelings should never get in the way of my faith, I believe. Therefore, it is so vital to acknowledge them and process my experiences with the Lord. He does not dismiss my brokenness, so I don’t have to either.

The key lies in not stifling my emotions nor stuffing them away. It lies in not denying nor dodging.

For a humble acceptance of truth goes a long way.

So friends, I’m wondering,

“What if instead of burying that which needs addressing, tending and healing, we slowly learn to do just that? Address, tend and heal?”

For whatever is not revealed cannot be healed.

But whatever is brought out into the open, in the safety and security of God’s presence, can be and will be healed by Him. His Love and Truth are a healing salve that nothing can diminish the potency of.

So what if we started to unpack our backpack in front of the Lord? That which we have been carrying for years now? He delights in getting in the dirt with us. To help us sort and sift through our baggage. To show us what lessons of wisdom to pick up, and what toxic emotions to let go. To empower us to forgive the pain of our past, and to trust Him with the new story of Goodness, Grace and Glory that He is writing for our lives.

Sometimes, it is us who remain hesitant.

However, I do beseech you friend, that regardless of where you are in your own story with Him, you would take the time to get in the dirt with Him. In the safety of His love and presence to receive the healing salve of His love and truth that nothing can diminish the power of.

Not a past that looks worse than a trainwreck, and not even the worst sin you can think of.

Nothing.

For when we bring into the light of His face, everything that holds our hearts hostage to guilt, shame, bitterness, anger and unforgiveness, His mercy meets us, understands us, heals us and shows us the way forward.

Suffice to say, if we are truly going to walk in health and wholeness in the midst of a world that is anything but healthy and whole, then it remains important that our feelings, both good and bad, be acknowledged. It is in that that we truly honor our design, and the value thereof.

It is then that we learn that pain and hope can co-exist. It is not “either-or.” Rather, it is “both-and.”

Sorrow AND celebration. Grieving AND rejoicing. Feelings AND faith.

Hope is at the heart of our faith, and healing is the children’s bread. There is no hope without healing, and there is no healing apart from hope.

For my experience convinces me that they are in fact, two sides of the same coin.

It is when I am emotionally healthy that I am spiritually powerful.

And yes.

It is an everyday journey, a step by step walk with the Lord.

Healing paves the way toward hope.

Though nothing can take away from our Hope that is in Christ, things can certainly threaten to dim our consciousness of it. For anything that is unprocessed is ill-processed, and whatever is ill-processed is under the influence of a lie.

Truth and Love can never be divorced, and neither can Love and Hope.

To protect and cultivate our divine design which is Love, it is important that we know the Truth for it is only the Truth that we know that can set us free. And wherever there is freedom, there is power.

Power to be redeemed, be restored and be pleasantly bewildered.

Not because everything is perfect, but because we are free.

Free to love. Free to heal. Free to have hope.

Hope for a future that though obscure is only safely tucked away within the heart of our Saviour.

Only so that in the fullness of time, we will look back and say,

“He has done everything well.” (Mark 7:37)

Pleasant bewilderment, I’d say.

A Fresh Surrender

A joyful surrender
With childlike trust
No need to ponder
For we will be left in wonder.

The days to come may look different
So help us in our readjustment
The process of change is best left fluid
For Your lead unto us is best suited.

Uncertain times held stoically in Your Hands
Relieve us of the need to know
As we yield to Your leading
We know we won’t be left bleeding.

For You already have
Once and for all
It’s only a curve in the road
For You’ve already mapped out the path.

Our walk together is constant but a bit different
It’s perhaps more close, more intimate, more dependent
Therein we find You are ever so close
Should we dare to draw near, You’ll chase away all our fear.

So help us come to You in our time of need
To receive the strength, wisdom and grace that You so willingly release
Help us cast our cares unto You
And trust in Your Lordship as we give in to You.

Jesus💖

Sunday smile

Glimpses of change crackling forth
Nothing will be the same henceforth
What You do looks unexpected
But is the fruit of where we intersected.

What You initiate
Nothing can terminate
Your Mighty Hand softening hearts
Revealing the purpose behind our scars.

The grace of being soft and strong
Is beyond even a mighty throng
Yet within You, it’s our truest reality
So real that it borders on fantasy.

We chime in when we can
But leave the rest to Your plan
Our surrender is where You start
And we see the seas part.

You move us out of our comfort zone
For it’s only Your Love to which we are prone
Shaking the dust off our feet
We rise and say, “I Believe.”

Hello Freedom.

I see a young girl here. Full of a life force she can’t explain that compels her to leave the shadows behind and run towards the sunshine that beckons her to come forth. With the grace of a gazelle, she runs with the wind. She runs wholeheartedly, knowing that what lies ahead of her is far greater than what lies behind her. The Light that crowns her head knows her by name, and invites her to embrace the beauty of the green, grassy meadows that await her. It’s an invitation she lovingly accepts and with a freedom in her soul she can’t explain, she runs.

She knows that what she is running towards is unknown, but growth is more important than comfort. She unflinchingly exchanges the safety of the familiar with the adventure of the new. The new she knows may be uncharted, but is worth it. For The Light that crowns her head has told her so.

So she believes.

She believes because The Light that crowns her head is also The Love that surrounds her. He surrounds her with a fury that no darkness can penetrate. The promises He makes nothing can terminate. He goes before and He stands behind. He stands alone, so she never ever has too.

Together, they run.

They run towards lush, green pastures. Here she discovers more. She sees how tenderly this Love she believes in cares for His sheep. She takes to heart as she notices how He willingly lays down His life for His sheep in order that they may find theirs. As she gazes upon the beauty of this Love, she knows she has been forever changed.

Changed so radically that she knows she will never be the same again.

The Love she has encountered has created in her heart the capacity to say a full, “Yes,” to a journey that is sure to come with its fair share of ups and downs, but she remains undaunted. Simply because she knows beyond a shadow of doubt that The Love she runs with is stronger than anything she will ever face.

So, they continue to run together.

And as they do, she discovers more.

She discovers that this Love teaches her to move like the water and the wind. Fluid and free flowing. Whether its stones, pebbles, mountains or rocks; water easily makes its way over them or around them. An element that moves so swiftly that nothing can stop it is thus, rendered immovable. Much the same with the wind that blows with such an extravagant freedom that nothing can contain it.

And so it is with this Love that she has experienced. Nothing can stop Him, and nothing can move Him. Except our hearts. Our hearts, she understands, move Him and so she decides to joyfully give hers away.

Give it away to the Love that never gives way.

As this dawns upon her, she begins to want to become more like Him. This is where the journey begins to touch depths that she could have never even imagined nor hoped. Recalling how this Love gladly lays His life down for His sheep, she receives a revelation that moves the very core of her being. For it is evident that for His sheep to find their lives in the life that He chose to lay, He too had to first say a full, “Yes.”

A full,”Yes” to being reduced to love, and a “Yes” so full that it prompts ours too.

For as we journey with Love, we too will reach milestones where the depths of His sacrifice for us and commitment towards us touch us so deeply that we simply say, “Yes.”

Yes, to being reduced to love which leaves us more full and free than ever. More full of peace. More full of patience. More full of humility. More full of honor. More full of compassion. More full of understanding. More full of quiet strength. More full of mercy. More full of grace. More full of love as a result of being reduced to it.

It’s a paradox one can’t explain, but only experience.

An experience that leaves us so free that it borders on fantasy.

For that’s what The Cross exemplifies,

Freedom.

Having nailed the law to The Cross, Jesus has left us with only one law which is the law of love against which there is no law. Love that encases the majesty of joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness and self control is a love that nothing can stand against, and because nothing can?

We are truly free.

So shall we run?

The wait.

“Here’s what I’ve learned through it all:
Don’t give up; don’t be impatient;
be entwined as one with the Lord.
Be brave and courageous, and never lose hope.
Yes, keep on waiting—for he will never disappoint you!”

(Psalm 27:14, The Passion Translation)

How we wait is perhaps as important as what we are waiting upon The Lord for. For waiting upon The Lord is a phase that is purely transitional.

It’s a transit point between where we once were and where we are now headed. It requires a space within us that God cultivates because He is in the business of preparing us for what He has prepared for us. What appears to be a delay is in fact, only a vehicle to affirm us of the truth that as we wait, our answers are only accruing interest. And when He does intervene with a precision probably best described as surgical, we will know what the wait was really all about. We will see for ourselves that if we could turn back time, we wouldn’t want to. Because His timing is just that perfect.

His timing is perfect because His ways that are higher than ours?

Are perfect.

And enshrined within our willingness to wait in obedience to the ways of The Lord is the pristine sound of trust.

I often say that He is a Good Good Father. I say it because He is. And in His goodness, He wants His Children to be spiritually mature enough to trust the process of change and development that is the very purpose behind the wait.

For the wait is where He establishes His nature and character in our lives, which most naturally enables us to express our trust in His naure and character, in turn. Because the truth is that where He is taking us is a place that only a sound enough revelation of who HE is, will sustain us, grow us and prosper us.

One of the things that I have heard Graham Cooke say and have taken to heart is the revelation that as we walk hand-in-hand with The Lord, there is nothing that we will walk through together which will overwhelm us simply because HE is so much bigger. So it’s okay for us to be small because HE is so big.

He knows what lies ahead and goes ahead of us to prepare the way for the joy of a manifested promise. But what if He really is more interested in teaching and enabling us to even walk with joy towards a most joyful outcome?

A joy that stems from both, the simplicity and sanctity of believing.

Believing in the faithfulness of The One who promised and believing in His power to accomplish that which He promised.

“For no word from God will ever fail.”

(Luke 1:37, NIV)

Reason enough to wait. And wait well.

Wait well as He waits upon us too.

He too waits upon us as He patiently brings us to the point of believing. He works with unmatched patience with us to not only believe the infallibility of what He has spoken to us, but even train us to travel with the peace and joy of believing.

If that’s not perseverance, I don’t know what is.

As a people being transformed and conformed to His image, we too are graced to persevere. Persevere with Him as surely as He perseveres with us. For Love always perseveres, Scripture tells us. And as a response of love to Love, it is only natural to find ourselves saying,

“You’ll change the times and seasons, but as You do, grant me the grace to persevere with You.”

Selah.

Change the narrative.

January 2020:

The dawn of a new year. The ushering in of a new era. The beginning of a decade.

As the stage is set for us to rewrite our story, may the script of the rest of our lives be defined by the values we hold close and the dreams we have yet to birth.

The fonts could be italics or bold, curvy or rustic.

The colours could be a vibrant hue or a tint of serenity.

The backdrop could be a solid shade of one or a unique amalgam of several.

The framework could be rusty antique or simply urban.

The stand could be a stylish staircase ascending upwards or a straight line remaining steadfast and immovable.

The designs could be ours, but may the message remain His.

May the message embody The One who not only gives us strength, but IS our strength. The One who not only gives us courage, but IS our courage. The One who not only gives us love, but IS our love.

Our First Love.

The One who loves to take the remnants we have to offer and uses those very ingredients that we discounted, to rewrite our story; a story marked by fresh beginnings and new starts, brave new adventures and carefree escapades.

Because when He rewrites our story, it sounds a bit different.

A bit like Grace.
A bit like Mercy.
A bit like Love.

And when we start to find Him in the bits, guess what?

The story changes.

Simply because we have.

And somewhere I wonder, isn’t that the whole point?

I’ll leave that with you.

💛

Time to Forgive!

“A change of heart on the inside, a change of life on the outside.”

If we live long enough, and my guess is that most of us have, we will have found ourselves having experienced the curveballs of loss, grief, disappointment, betrayal and hurt tossed our way, at some of the most unexpected and inconvenient times in our lives, experiences which if not stewarded well, have the potential to harden our once soft hearts and thwart the full realization of what was God’s original intention and design for our lives.

We live in a fallen world, and hurt just seems to be inevitable reality, something we certainly don’t volunteer to experience, but something we cannot dodge nonetheless. A parent says something, a spouse does not keep his/her word, a boss yells in an outburst of anger, a neighbor gives the cold shoulder, and the list of such incidents that can cause us to make promises like, “I will NEVER let that happen to me again!” seems endless. In our vehement quest to self-protect, we actually self-sabotage. We fasten padlocks on our hearts and refuse to ever trust again. I mean really trust. I can vouch for it, because I’ve been there.

But the good news is that we don’t have to stay there. In and through a relationship with Jesus Christ, we can move on. Instead of staying bitter, angry and resentful; we can choose to forgive simply because WE have been forgiven first. As I write, the part where Peter questions Jesus comes to mind,

“Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, ‘Lord,how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me?Up to seven times?’ Jesus answered, ‘I tell you not seven times, but seventy seven times.'”

I believe Jesus said so because no matter how many times we forgive, He has forgiven us even more. He bore our sins on Himself so that we may be set free. Scripture says that He whom the Son of Man has set free, is free indeed. Then, tell me, why must we allow ourselves to be bound by unforgiveness?

As believers in Christ, we have the power to choose. We can choose to let our hearts remain hardened by the poison of unforgiveness, or we can choose to release forgiveness to our offenders, trusting God to vindicate us. The latter is definitely what would please The Father, because it not only demonstrates our trust in Him to avenge us, but also allows us to keep our hearts soft, supple and tender for the work of God to continue in and through our lives.

A powerful yet not too popular tool to release forgiveness is to pray for those that have caused us harm. The Bible tells us to. In my experience, this is one of the most potent tools that God uses to shape our hearts, leaving us forever changed. Not only does this allow us to release our toxic emotions to God in a sacred, secret, sanctified space;but also trust Him to work in our lives in a way that brings about true and authentic restoration. It is often said that hurting people hurt others. The same people, when trusted in the Hands of God, can have the opportunity to not only heal and become whole; but also be transformed to an extent that they themselves morph into instruments of healing and wholeness in the world that is around and about them.

Friends, this picture of true restoration revives my soul. It makes me acutely aware of the fact that we not only have the privilege to forgive, but also owe it to the world because our prayers carry weight. As they ascend to the Throne room of Grace, Our Father goes to work in ALL of our hearts to make them His.

Isn’t that what we are after, to begin with?

Suffice to say, a change of heart on the inside is something that may seem subtle, but in fact, is so potent that it can literally spark off a movement of the Love and Light of Christ to shine forth so bright that our very lives would be a threat to the kingdom of darkness. So, as I close, let us say in unison,

“Father, let Your Kingdom come, Your Will be done, on Earth as it is in Heaven.”

Amen.