“We don’t deny the pain. We simply refuse to be defined by it.”
Pain comes without prejudice. It comes for people of all races, regions,religions, nations and ethnicity. It comes in all shapes and sizes. It comes when it’s most inconvenient. It comes when it’s most unexpected. It comes and it knocks the wind out of our sails.
If you’re alive, you understand that pain is an inevitable reality. The loss of a loved one, the demise of a dream, the break up of a decade long relationship, having to be a single mom, discovering you’re adopted after years of living out of another identity; pain is ruthless and leaves no one untouched. Heartbreak that plagues us years after the incident, grief that torments us long after the betrayal, anger that besets us each time the memory comes to mind, unforgiveness that poisons us when we are caught off guard; all of these only to surmise that pain is inevitable.
The only reasonable question then is how do we deal with it?
A life of Faith is one which entails suffering, which entails pain. But it is also one which equips us to process it in ways that don’t leave us feeling victimised but rather enriched and empowered by the experience; wherein we don’t deny the pain, we simply and blatantly refuse to be defined by it.
Having researched world leaders from nearly all walks of life as I wrote my first book, it was clear to me that anyone who has risen to exceptional heights of success have had to endure more than a fair share of pain, trauma, sickness and despair. It was not the set of circumstances that determined their outcome. It was in the tenacity of their spirit and the unflinching belief that something better was up ahead that gave them the fortitude to not only withstand the vicissitudes of life, but to steward them in such a way that the very thing that threatened to sabotage their Destiny became the very catalyst to catapult them into the next dimension of their being.
Take a moment, and see who comes to mind.
Whom do you admire and see greatness in who has not had to endure pain, criticism, rejection or heartbreak?
You get the point.
The substratum of this piece of writing is simply this. If we can’t avoid pain, and we certainly shouldn’t resist it, how do we respond?
At this juncture, Maya Angelou’s timeless words come to mind,
“I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.”
Pain is never sent to break us, rather, it’s purpose is to make us and mould us into vessels that are large enough to carry the weight of whatever it is that God is calling us to.
The transformative power of pain is huge, should we choose to tap into it.
Think about it.
If we weren’t hurt, we wouldn’t have learnt to forgive.
If we weren’t heartbroken, we wouldn’t have healed.
If we weren’t abandoned, we wouldn’t have relied on His Presence.
If we weren’t rejected, we wouldn’t have learnt to hold our own.
If we weren’t crushed, we wouldn’t be anointed.
I don’t know what life has had you walk through, but I do know this. You are powerful, overcoming, strong, beautiful, magnificent. You are in the process of becoming – an even better and more glorious version of yourself than you can possibly imagine. It may seem gruelling at times, but when you set your eyes on the prize; there is literally NOTHING that can hold you back. Not even pain.
Together, I hope and pray that we would find the beauty in the ashes, the strength in the scars and the wisdom in the wounds. Pain may have found us, but guess what?
It doesn’t get to define us.
And THAT’S good news.

